Posts Tagged ‘Philadelphia’

The Enlightened Age of Philadelphia Sports

September 17, 2009

Philadelphia sports has entered an enlightened age.

A feel good era where the World Series Championship and the Dog Fighting Champion eclipse Willy Penn and his once threatening historic curse. In this era of hope we find ourselves bearing witness to a new fan!

Fans that do not have to follow a team for the year only to find out that once again their favorite Philadelphia team will not be going anywhere but into training for next year. No! I say! Philadelphia is once again flourishing besieged of shame, that is if we ignore the transportation system, politics, loss of libraries, recreational places, parks and an increase in police.

Goodbye to the old ways and hello to the new ones!

Here in lies example A:

Throw it back!

Throw it back!

We shall see a father who is with his daughter and due to the Phillies’ mighty batting and strong pitching is not drunk, angry, and abusive.

Had we witnessed the father five years ago and you might have found the child following the ball (down to the lower level).

Watch the Video here sports junkie.


It’s Only Skin Deep – Isn’t It?

October 23, 2007

There’s Philadelphia, in the dark corner of the bar…

There’s a feature or two that’s not bad but that belligerent moue and muffin top is hard to get past. As for personality, she may be enthusiastic and loyal, but piss her off and she will beat the shit out of you. But that is what beer goggles are for ;)

Grrrr baby, grrrr!

Enjoy the fantastic food that is the reason the country calls us “the most obese.” At least our stomachs are happy. Fat – but happy.

Muffin Top diagram
The anatomy of a “muffin top.”


King of the Uglies

October 23, 2007

According to Travel and Leisure Philadelphia is America’s fugliest city. Finally a city of let downs and losing (i.e. Eagles and Phillies) comes out on top! I cannot see why such an award has been granted, because throughout history such handsome men have spawned from the depths of “brotherly love”…

(Electric in bed.)

(The Poster Child of Philly.)

(Puts the Jews of New York to shame with his Phabulous Philly blood.)

(Not related to Philly, except in looks.)

Just why did Philly receive such an award in the first place? One might hypothesis that at the root of this problem is Pennsylvania’s road system. With all those bumps and potholes the driver often suffers extensive facial damage from the dashboard’s repetitive beatings to the head. Or maybe the genetics of the ugly bums get passed on late at night like the genes of cats in alleyways.

Does Philly need to spay and neuter its bums or simply just a clean water system? What has caused this drastic mutation in the Birthplace of America as if zombies have suddenly overtaken and transformed a region’s entire collection of beautiful people? I regret to leave our dedicated readers without an answer to this bizarre quandary…but maybe perhaps, there is no answer at all.

So here is a salute to you Philth-adelphia, for not only giving us the “Philly Let Down” or “Philly Frustration” in sports, as well as the nation’s ugliest people, but for the least stylish, least active, least friendly, and least worldly natives of America. Thank You!