Archive for the ‘S-N-A-R-K-A-L-I-C-I-O-U-S’ Category

MLK lives forever.

January 20, 2008

Enjoy your day off kiddies! Of course, most of you won’t be celebrating racial equality on this day; ten bucks says you’ll be at home playing video games for most of it.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Unfortunately, SEGA’s “dream” was never realized.

My friend Georgie.

December 19, 2007

I have a friend, Georgie, who hates Elton John.

Sir Elton

Georgie also hates Queen.

Freddie Mercury at his best.

But of course, Georgie loves the Gipsy Kings.

The Gipsy Kings!

Ah, I guess the issue of gays & latinos simply cancel each other out. Gotta love that Georgie!

Elton John & Liz Hurley

But of course, being gay does have it’s bonuses. Perhaps you should reconsider Georgie.

Merry Christmas you poor college saps…

December 12, 2007

You’ve got finals!

Tree O Books
Tis the season!


A Public Service Holiday Announcement

November 30, 2007

If you find yourself attending one of those notorious holiday soireés this year, be sure not to get too much of the holiday spirit(s) in you or you just might become the Santa you didn’t want to see Mommy kissing.

A drunken Santa.
Jingle my bells baby.

It’s Only Skin Deep – Isn’t It?

October 23, 2007

There’s Philadelphia, in the dark corner of the bar…

There’s a feature or two that’s not bad but that belligerent moue and muffin top is hard to get past. As for personality, she may be enthusiastic and loyal, but piss her off and she will beat the shit out of you. But that is what beer goggles are for ;)

Grrrr baby, grrrr!

Enjoy the fantastic food that is the reason the country calls us “the most obese.” At least our stomachs are happy. Fat – but happy.

Muffin Top diagram
The anatomy of a “muffin top.”


Modern Day Slavery

October 1, 2007

Third world countries, sweatshop labors and human trafficking are all well and good. They get lots of attention, benefits for fundraising and Sally Struthers. But these showboats hog the attention. Away from the mainstream abuse in the modern world, a new breed of slavery develops, growing faster than the mildew on their abandoned bathroom curtains. Cut off from the world, much like the Siberian gulags, this class toils unendingly under petty lords and incompetent leaders. What makes this slavery even more horrific, is that it occurs right under your nose, people, yes right down the street from you.

The modern slave can often be identified by dull skin and hair from malnutrition, a midpriced wardrobe that mixes and matches to create as many combinations as possible and a car filled with basic necessities of life that sits parked in the mall lot for hours every day. Yes, the mall – where you spend your leisure time. Enslaved by their own ambition and the ridiculous stipulations, benchmarks and hurdles of human resources, the aspiring manager toils day in and day out trying to make the day’s sales goal, perfect the paperwork and for god sake, keep the stack of sweaters folded!

Further exacerbating the situation is the manager defending their position, making sure the ambitious one is kept in their place. They are to receive the burdens of responsibility without the relief of salary and two weeks vacation. It would be impossible that the ambitious could have a valid suggestion, be paid enough to support more than a goldfish and themselves and still enjoy what vestiges of social life they can scrap together. In addition, it would go against nature to be treated on an equal status as the management with a choice in hours, a steady paycheck and an occasional gesture of basic human decency.

Following the course of Hegelian dialectics, it has come time for the enslaved to rise! Rise, my fellow sufferers, and grasp the reins of management! This is the moment where you, the bourgeoisie, can truly escape! Do you choose to wither away, wasting your efforts to the company who does not give a rat’s ass about you? Or will you act out, implicate the manager in wrongdoing and seize control of your store and join the middle class? Join with me, and create a world where you are the leader and crush the fools who held you back!

Because, if you fail to act, if you fail to achieve,
you may as well be one of the slack-jawed peons
who wallow in their servitude at

Working Families for Wal-Mart

Have you ever really seen anyone smiling like this there?