Archive for the ‘At Your Boring Ass Job’ Category

Advertising at it’s finest.

January 25, 2008

Ah yes, the days of old. A time when manipulation marketing was top-notch. So without further adieu, here is a collection of classic print ads for your enjoyment.

Male Dominance
“When she told me that he walks all over her, I didn’t think it was like this!”


Welcome back to your boring-ass job.

January 2, 2008

Hope you all are awake after a super-long holiday vacation.

Wide awake.

No? Well that’s okay; we have our beautiful savior ready to get you started.

Coffee to the rescue!

Now you’re awake.

I’m awake! I’m awake!!
And you won’t ever go to sleep again.

Christmas Wishes from Fast Eddie

December 12, 2007

Best wishes from all of us here at Fast Eddie.

Christmas Wishes

Bringin’ dat Shatner funk

November 29, 2007

So the CNN GOP debate was broadcast last night on YouTube. But who can watch that crap when there’s quality entertainment on YouTube like this?

Shatner ’08.

The Da Vinci Coda

November 10, 2007

An Italian musician and computer technician says he has uncovered musical notes encoded in Leonardo Da Vinci’s “Last Supper” painting thus raising the possibility that the artist (who was also a musician) might have left behind a soundtrack to accompany the 15th-century work of art.

However, if you take the song and reverse it, you will hear The Rolling Stones “Sympathy for the Devil” and demons chanting in the background.

Last Supper Music 1
iTunes will release the song on Monday for 99¢.

(Read the full story and listen to a snippet of the song.)

King of the Uglies

October 23, 2007

According to Travel and Leisure Philadelphia is America’s fugliest city. Finally a city of let downs and losing (i.e. Eagles and Phillies) comes out on top! I cannot see why such an award has been granted, because throughout history such handsome men have spawned from the depths of “brotherly love”…

(Electric in bed.)

(The Poster Child of Philly.)

(Puts the Jews of New York to shame with his Phabulous Philly blood.)

(Not related to Philly, except in looks.)

Just why did Philly receive such an award in the first place? One might hypothesis that at the root of this problem is Pennsylvania’s road system. With all those bumps and potholes the driver often suffers extensive facial damage from the dashboard’s repetitive beatings to the head. Or maybe the genetics of the ugly bums get passed on late at night like the genes of cats in alleyways.

Does Philly need to spay and neuter its bums or simply just a clean water system? What has caused this drastic mutation in the Birthplace of America as if zombies have suddenly overtaken and transformed a region’s entire collection of beautiful people? I regret to leave our dedicated readers without an answer to this bizarre quandary…but maybe perhaps, there is no answer at all.

So here is a salute to you Philth-adelphia, for not only giving us the “Philly Let Down” or “Philly Frustration” in sports, as well as the nation’s ugliest people, but for the least stylish, least active, least friendly, and least worldly natives of America. Thank You!

Today’$ Word Play

October 3, 2007

Schools mold our children into the roles we play in society… (like gunslingers)


But Bill Cosby molds our Jello!!! (Far more important)


Today’s Word Play

October 1, 2007

The SPCA is to Animals (euthanizing your pets since they don’t have a home)


… As Darfur is to Humans (euthanizing humans since WWII)