WAR is declared on North Ireland…

Jellyfish attack!

…by jellyfish.

BELFAST – More than 100,000 jellyfish stormed the beaches of Northern Ireland on Tuesday and Wednesday completely wiping out the region’s entire salmon deposit in a matter of hours.

“We’re still assessing the full extent, but it’s a disaster,” said John Russell, the managing director of Northern Salmon Co. Ltd. “In 30 years, I’ve never seen anything like it. It was unprecedented, absolutely amazing. The sea was red with these jellyfish and there was absolutely nothing we could do about it, absolutely nothing.”

Beware of Jellyfish
Look out below!

Luckily, the jellyfish military was stopped amidst the seven hour attack that spanned over 10 square miles and went 35 feet deep. But alas, the damage had already been done and the jellyfish retreated victoriously.

“It’s touch and go if we can survive this,” Russell added, “It’s a disaster.”

Spokesmen for the jellyfish had no comment.

Jellyfish attack on the innocent.
May our prayers be with them.

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One Response to “WAR is declared on North Ireland…”

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