It’s Only Skin Deep – Isn’t It?

There’s Philadelphia, in the dark corner of the bar…

There’s a feature or two that’s not bad but that belligerent moue and muffin top is hard to get past. As for personality, she may be enthusiastic and loyal, but piss her off and she will beat the shit out of you. But that is what beer goggles are for ;)

Grrrr baby, grrrr!

Enjoy the fantastic food that is the reason the country calls us “the most obese.” At least our stomachs are happy. Fat – but happy.

Muffin Top diagram
The anatomy of a “muffin top.”

When you are rockin’ that cheesesteak gut and have a pretzel tucked in your jowls like a pelican storing for hard times, there’s no amount of style that can save your appearance. We aren’t stylishly deficient – we are realistic.

Enjoying a taste of Philly
Enjoying the sweet taste of “brotherly love”…

We may have the least friendly people around – but that is because you don’t know our people. Spend some time with us and we shall reveal our hidden depths – of people with no social skills or in some cases, soul. The happiness ends with our stomachs.

Jesse Boulerice’s latest venture.
This hit cost the Flyers’ one of the longest suspensions in NHL history.
We have 4 players on that list.

We aren’t active – there’s no point. There is yet to create the perfect exercise that burns calories yet gets food in your mouth at the same time. Besides, exercise generates endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. We wouldn’t want to ruin our reputation.

Havin’ a good ol’ time.

However it could be worse. We could be California. Over there, the beautiful are so bad that God is pulling a repeat and sending fire and brimstone on the state constantly. And they still don’t get it.

Sodom and Gomorrah
Sodom and Gomorrah.


Tags: , , , , , , ,

4 Responses to “It’s Only Skin Deep – Isn’t It?”

  1. eddiebear Says:

    Wasn’t the Mayor of Philly waiting in line all day for an iPhone?

  2. Fast Eddie Says:

    I believe he had someone else stand in line for him until it was “his” turn to purchase one.

  3. eddiebear Says:

    ^ahh. I see!

  4. If You Like Hooking Up With Attractive People « eddiebear Says:

    […] You Like Hooking Up With Attractive People Jump to Comments Don’t go to Philadelphia And a native Philly resident puts it all in perspective. Well, at least St. Louis can rest easy, knowing we have somebody we can look down […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: