There’s Philadelphia, in the dark corner of the bar…
There’s a feature or two that’s not bad but that belligerent moue and muffin top is hard to get past. As for personality, she may be enthusiastic and loyal, but piss her off and she will beat the shit out of you. But that is what beer goggles are for ;)
Enjoy the fantastic food that is the reason the country calls us “the most obese.” At least our stomachs are happy. Fat – but happy.
When you are rockin’ that cheesesteak gut and have a pretzel tucked in your jowls like a pelican storing for hard times, there’s no amount of style that can save your appearance. We aren’t stylishly deficient – we are realistic.
We may have the least friendly people around – but that is because you don’t know our people. Spend some time with us and we shall reveal our hidden depths – of people with no social skills or in some cases, soul. The happiness ends with our stomachs.
We aren’t active – there’s no point. There is yet to create the perfect exercise that burns calories yet gets food in your mouth at the same time. Besides, exercise generates endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. We wouldn’t want to ruin our reputation.
However it could be worse. We could be California. Over there, the beautiful are so bad that God is pulling a repeat and sending fire and brimstone on the state constantly. And they still don’t get it.