BOOM! To the moon Alice!
I got 99 problems but this ain’t one.
…work out. Just not with a p*ssy on your back holding you down.
Don’t forget to thank your Mom for being so wonderful.
Look no further than your nearest end-cap.
I just cannot wait for the Olympics this year.
Now stop your bitchin’ haters.
Don’t forget your swine flu shots this season!
Cheer up, it’s almost Friday fool.
Philadelphia sports has entered an enlightened age.
A feel good era where the World Series Championship and the Dog Fighting Champion eclipse Willy Penn and his once threatening historic curse. In this era of hope we find ourselves bearing witness to a new fan!
Fans that do not have to follow a team for the year only to find out that once again their favorite Philadelphia team will not be going anywhere but into training for next year. No! I say! Philadelphia is once again flourishing besieged of shame, that is if we ignore the transportation system, politics, loss of libraries, recreational places, parks and an increase in police.
Goodbye to the old ways and hello to the new ones!
Here in lies example A:
We shall see a father who is with his daughter and due to the Phillies’ mighty batting and strong pitching is not drunk, angry, and abusive.
Had we witnessed the father five years ago and you might have found the child following the ball (down to the lower level).
…but we’ll be back soon!
Must be Friday, cause that shit don’t happen on a Monday. If it was Monday, they’d all be shitting on you.
“AP reporter watches Israeli strike destroy own home on YouTube.”
Too hot for words!
Yes Obama won…obviously. I think the New Black Panther movement may have helped some PA voters at the polls make up their mind that night.
But nonetheless, the real shocker of the election was not that a black man finally overcame “the man” to capture the presidency, but rather 509 of you geniuses voted for the Phillies to be president. Dollar Dog Night = national holiday for sure!!
Story courtesy of CNN Election Center 2008.
…or even aware of the camera for that matter.
Take a hint from VISA dude…”The camera is everywhere you DON’T want it to be.”
This month is “National October Awareness Month.” We are celebrating over two thousand years of Octobers. It comes as one of the longer Months for 31 days out of 365. Yes, to you month with two Os, to you we become aware. Autumn would never continue without October. Thank God we have October because without it, we would be left with 11 months, that’d be a bitch!
Without October, these months: Adopt a Shelter Dog Month, Antidepressant Death Awareness Month, (World) Blindness Awareness Month, Celiac Disease Awareness Month, Celebrate the Bilingual Child Month, Children’s Magazine Month, Christmas Seal Campaign Month, Church Library Month, Church Safety and Security Month, Class Reunion Month, Co-op Month, Domestic Violence Month, Dyslexia Month, Eat Better & Eat Together Month, Emotional Intelligence Month, Emotional Wellness Month, Energy Management is a Family Affair-Improve Your Home Month (long one), Gay & Lesbian History Month, German-American Heritage Month, Global Diversity Awareness Month, Go Hog Wild – Eat Country Ham Month, Halloween Safety Month, Head Start Awareness Month, Health Literacy Month, International Starman Month, International Strategic Planning Month, Long Term Care Planning Month, Lupus Awareness Month, Month of Free Thought Month, National Animal Safety and Protection Month, National Bake and Decorate Month, National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, National Caramel Month, National Chili, National Chiropractic, National Crime Prevention, National Cyber Security Awareness, National Dental Hygiene Month, National Depression Education & Awareness Month, National Disability Employment Awareness Month, National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, National Down Syndrome Month, National Ergonomics Month, National Family Sexuality Education Month, National “Gain the Inside Advantage” Month, National Go On A Field Trip Month, National Kitchen & Bath Month, National Liver Awareness Month, National Medical Librarian Month, National Orthodontic Health Month, National Physical Therapy Month, National Popcorn Poppin’ Month, National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, National Reading Group Month, National Roller Skating Month, National RSV Awareness Month, National Sarcastic Awareness Month, National Spina Bifida Awareness Month, National Window Covering Safety Month, National Work and Family Month, National Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Awareness Month, Organize Your Medical Information Month, Photographer Appreciation Month, Polish American Heritage Month, Positive Attitude Month, Raptor Month, Rett Syndrome Awareness Month, Right Brainers Rule! Month, Self-Promotion Month, Spinach Lovers Month, Squirrel Awareness Month, Stamp Collecting Month, Talk About Prescriptions Month, Vegetarian Month, Wishbones for Pets Month, Women’s Small Business Month, and Workplace Politics Awareness (http://www.brownielocks.com/october.html) would not be months!
October, being a lot of things: A vegetarian ham health better eating caramel sticking to my teeth dental hygiene awareness month or a self-promoting down syndrome gaining the inside advantage month, we can all agree that we all need to be aware of you because without you, where would my “High School Musical 2008” or my “Topless National Breast Cancer Awareness” flip calendar be? And we want to enrich your awareness of October in October because October is worthwhile and original according to October. No we are not trying to persuade your views about the other Months by declaring October as National October Awareness Month; we just want to draw attention to the issue.
Without your mischief night and Hollow’s Eve I would not be scared of the neighborhood adolescents or the next door pedophile that puts razor blades in my kid’s candy apple. Thank You, National October Awareness Month, because without you I would not be aware of October!
In the fine words of Dane Cook about baseball, “There is Only One October!”